This week a friend posted an interesting question on Facebook...."If I had to hire a mother for my children, would I hire myself?" What a great question! I've definitely thought this over quite a lot. No, I'm not looking to hire another mom but somedays a clone would be nice.
I would have to answer this question by saying that yes, I would hire myself as my childrens' mother BUT I need to fire myself as a cook and housekeeper. haha Actually, those two areas give me great grief as a mother. I'm the mom who takes her kids to the park but in the back of her mind feels guilty that the dishes from the night before are still in the sink...I start to think "What am I teaching my children? Am I teaching them to have fun before they do work? Am I teaching them to be irresponsible? We probably should have done the dishes together so I could teach them how to clean BEFORE we came to the park!" Ahhhhh the guilt that can live in my head is crazy.
I think the comfort that comes to these guilt-ridden moments is knowing that our Heavenly Father has confidence in us as their mothers. I know that prayer can bring answers and comfort when we feel we are short of our goals.
In all seriousness, I think we all beat ourselves up over things that we do as a mother and the guilt that we feel on a daily basis can be paralyzing BUT the "paydays" as my friend Toni calls them make the job amazing!
I'd like to end with some of my proud mommy moments this week...
Roman has SERIOUS food phobia issues - he has problems with certain textures which cause him to gag and so he is COMPLETELY afraid of trying new foods. I've read books on this, prayed for hours about this, put him on a waiting list for therapy...it haunts me. Truly he eats maybe 6 different things. Period. Well this week the Easter Bunny answered my prayers....turns out Roman WILL try new food in exchange for a candy. Call it bribery if you will but I promise you'd be jumping up and down if he were yours! We aren't done with this problem but this week has been amazing!
Whew - that was long. Today I taught Allie and Kate how to sew a button and how to hand-sew a pillow. They were thrilled and the pillows turned out really cute.
Now that I've revealed a tiny insight into *one* of my weaknesses as a mother, I pose the question to you. Would you hire yourself to be the mother to your children? Food for thought.
PS - I think my baby countdown gadget is a tad creepy...I think my real baby looks wayyy cuter than that....and don't get me started on the weird umbilical cord!
10 comments:
It's funny. I'm the opposite. I do ok with food and cleaning, but I have to be dragged out of the house. Luckily, I have a friend that has passes to the zoo, museum and everywhere else. She invites me to go all the time. I say way to go on bribing Roman. You gotta do what works. We bribe our kids when they are potty training. I don't see a difference. I can't wait to find out what you're having. Great post.
I think rewards/bribary are great...good job Roman!
I loved this post. I'm with Melissa, I have the cleaning/cooking down but sometimes I think I should be playing on the floor with my kids instead.
Thanks for the thoughts you shared...I will continue to think about this :)
Sarah, I'm with you. Ever since we moved, I've been such a slacker in the cleaning/cooking department. I just have no motivation! But we sure play a lot! Loved this post. It made me think this morning. Miss you!
Great question....
So, what Has Roman eaten since you learned the new trick?
going to the park is SOOO much more important (and fun too) than making sure the dishes are away. don't get me wrong I LOVE my house to be clean and sometimes it's hard to say whatever we're gonna have fun and leave the chores for later. wasn't there a recent church talk about how we as woman should be more spontaneous and less scheduled and go have a picnic w/ our kids because that is more important. I'll have to find it, I remember liking it.
good to hear roman is eating, it's a relief for you i'm sure.
found it....
M Russell Ballard's talk Daughters of God, the part I was thinking about:
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Isn't it tough? And I feel SO much better when the dishes are done...but there just isn't the time. Yeah, I would hire myself, but no videotaping while I am duty!
I am totally in the same boat...I tend to put fun with kids before all else and leave the chores for later. Besides, it's not like I can get much done when they're awake anyways! And bribery is my strongest weapon these days to get my boys to eat..."you have to eat your dinner for dessert". Meals were a stressful event before I discoverd bribery! And holy cow, are your girls really 8 and 6 years? I can picture Allie before she was even crawling! Congrats on your pregnancy!
Sarah--
I hope you don't mind a little "blog stalking" going on...as we technically "briefly crossed paths" here:)
but
this story has made me stop and think quite frequently for days. Although we don't have children yet, I find that I have the same reoccuring thoughts. I feel that the thought of being "perfect" or doing it all "the right way" has hindered me from moving forward in a lot of ways.
Basically, I loved this post and think you're great.:) Even if we are mere "blog buddies". Thank you! (and congrats on your new little one!)
In the middle of the world's longest pregnancy it's hard to answer this one positively, but in reality, yeah, I would hire myself. What makes me feel good is that there have definitely been times I WOULDN'T have, and I'm just glad to be at a point in my life where I feel like I'm doing pretty good as a mom. When you don't feel you're doing well in this area, you don't feel good about anything.
Great post!
And SOOOO glad the candy thing is working for Roman!! {Whoever said you should never bribe your children obviously never had any!}
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