Quick Update...

This week is busy but I wanted to quickly update the blog. So here are a few highs and lows...

Highs:
1. Easter!!! Oh how Easter means so much this year. It was a beautiful day. The message of Easter is pure hope and just what I needed! I'm so grateful to know that Jesus lives. We had THE most talented singer in church on Sunday...I'll just say that he is the Mormon version of Josh Groban!!! I've never heard a voice like that and it was so perfect for our Sacrament Meeting.
2. Friends--I think I have a very unique talent for making friends. I have somehow been blessed with the most uplifting, talented, supportive, caring, and thoughtful people on the planet. Really, rather than being a marriage match-maker, people should hire me to be a friendship match-maker...so far I'm my only client but wow, great job!
3. The Girls--Kate is 4 today and Allie will be 6 on Saturday!!! I'll update the blog on Sunday w/ our b-day festivities. It's been lotsa fun so far!

Lows:
1. Darin has boards and has to study lots...he won't be finished with the exams until May! The tests are every two weeks. Crazy? Yes, yes it is.
2. Where is the spring?!!! Take a look at our Easter egg hunt...yes, we are completely bundled up with hats, coats, and gloves!
3. The lowest low is that the doctor thinks Roman has asthma. I have to give him breathing treatments about 6 times a day but he is such a trooper about it. He just sits there smiling at me and kicking his feet. We are praying that Roman will outgrow this. I know there are far greater trials in terms of health, but it's so hard to see your little one suffer at all.

Well, thank you all again for your love and support. We are taking things a day at a time but overall we are at peace.

Love,
Sarah and gang

Roman at 3 Months

Shannon Sundberg took these gorgeous pictures of Roman when she was out here. She is such a great photographer! THANKS SHANNON!!!

Healing through Grief

First I have to say Thank You to everyone who posted such kind messages, emailed, called, sent cards, dropped by, watched my kids, cried with me, and especially for those who have prayed for me and my family. It seems that those prayers are tangible at a time like this. I can feel the strength that the Lord has blessed me with because others have cared enough to pray on my behalf. So many of you have said, "I just wish I knew what to say." My reply is that you said just the right thing by being there for me and telling me that you care. You really made all the difference at this terrible time.

While I was in Texas my family noted that we were surrounded by miracles daily. People continued to show their love for us in very thoughtful and generous ways. I hope to send personal thank yous very soon. We also saw miracles in the way that the Lord guided our family and particularly the welfare of Travis' family when it looked like things were bleak. I wish I could go into details here but I'm not able to. Again, know that your prayers have been heard and while still full of heartache, they are doing well.

I have to share a couple of things that really touched me:
1. My friend made two beautiful little purses for my girls and mailed them as soon as she heard the news. In the package was a note that said their uncle Travis really wanted them to have those. My girls were thrilled and probably didn't understand why I was crying yet again! I know how much that would have meant to Travis and it also meant so much to me! Travis would have thought of the kids first, just like my friend did.
2. A man who lives in Chicago and works in the insurance dept. of the company that Travis worked for sent Casey a card and a personal check for $25. The card said that he never had the pleasure of meeting them but when the insurance case came across his desk he felt personally moved to do something. I am amazed at how good people are!


I also wanted to share a little bit about how I am feeling and dealing with all of this. I still have many, many moments where I can't believe this is real and can't comprehend that he is really gone; but other times the bitterness is very real and I can't stop crying. I don't know how or why I stop crying, but I always do and then I feel peace. I know I will see Travis again and that gives me the most comfort during this time. The day that I found out he died will always be with me, I know that if I didn't have strong faith at that time I would have started searching for answers. My testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is a treasured gift that has helped me to see the beauty and miracles when I know that I could turn away and question God just as easily...but I don't because I know that He has a plan for Travis (and for all of us) and this is part of that plan. I can't comprehend the why's but that is why it's important to have faith. I know that without faith in God's plan, this world would be much darker for me today.

At the funeral, as we were all crying, my sister Cari reminded us of THE funniest thing. When Cari was a kid she was very sensitive and emotional. Travis would tease her to no end! He would say, "I bet you can't go one day without crying!" Immediately Cari would start crying and say, "Yes I can!". So as we were all crying our eyes out Cari said, "I can just hear Travis now 'Bet you can't go one day without crying!' " and so far he's right.

I love you all and appreciate the things you have done for me, know that they weren't small acts of kindness to me, those things have been my strength and I know Travis would appreciate you too.

Travis

I've been thinking SO much about Travis and feel so sad that I didn't say more about how wonderful he was in my post. I miss him so much. He was the most brilliant person I've ever known. He was the perfect combination of book smarts and creativity. He was so witty and always made us laugh. I would tease him that he wasn't funny and that probably bothered him more than if someone told him he wasn't smart! He had the bluest eyes you've ever seen and I'm so glad that my kids have them too, it will always remind me of him. Travis had a very tender heart, as a kid he couldn't watch Bambi because it was too sad...as an adult his heart was just as sweet. He always watched out for the little kids when our family was together. Travis and I built countless clubhouses as kids, played legos for hours, dug tunnels through the sand and loved to catch "craw-dads" in our backyard. We'd then put them in our little swimming pool and make them fight (Travi's idea)! Travis once dug up a snapping turtle with his foot--thinking it was a rock; we were so grateful that it didn't hurt him! I know the memories will continue to flow as I join my family on Wednesday. The Funeral will be on Thursday at 2 pm at the Mormon church in Vidor, Texas.

Thank you all SO much for the kind posts, the phone calls, the emails, the prayers and the love. It is carrying me through at this time.

Love,
Sarah

Farewell for now...

My sweet brother, Travis Ryan Sellers, passed away this morning in a car accident. He left behind a beautiful wife, and a darling son (not yet 2) and daughter (10 weeks). I loved him with all my heart. I can't tell you how much pain I feel or how many tears I've cried. There are never enough good memories and never enough time to fill the void when a loved one passes. Oh how I wish... I must say that with this bitter pain comes joy in my testimony of Jesus Christ. I know He Lives. I know He died for us, I know he paid the debt for our sins through his Atonement. I can't even begin to express the gratitude I have for Him today. Without my testimony of Him I know I would be even deeper in the depths of despair.

I have felt my Savior's love today and in looking over this past week I see how He prepared me for this goodbye. On Tuesday I was reading my scriptures and also reading from the Ensign (church magazine). I read an article that talked about fasting for our loved ones who are in need. Instantly I thought of my brother and the trials he has been going through. I called my mom and suggested that the whole family fast and pray for Travis today. She agreed that it would be a significant thing to do for him at a time that we could do nothing else. The next day my little sister called my mom and said that she had read an article in the Ensign and was impressed that our family should fast and pray for Travis. My mom said that it must be inspiration because I had just called her the day before with the same idea. Jill (my little sister) emailed the family for their support and last night we began our fast, which would last for two meals or approx 24 hours. The money we would have spent on food was also to be donated to our Church's humanitarian efforts. We had no idea that Travis would be leaving us during this time. Because of our fast we all felt closer to the Lord and to Travis. So many other things have happened today to let me know that the Lord loves Travis and is watching over him.

Thank you so much to my dear friends who have been there for me today. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to call each of you to let you know, truly only those who saw me at church today know about this. I'm hoping to fly out w/ Darin and the kids on Tuesday. I'm not sure when the funeral will be but I'm sure I will update everyone as I know more.

I want you to know how much you mean to me. This life is short and we don't get enough chances to share our love and our faith with others. I know I need to take every opportunity I can. Please hug your family a little tighter tonight.

All my love,
Sarah

http://www.kfdm.com/news/driver_24989___article.html/road_bmw.html

Also, my sisters Jill and Cari updated their blogs with great memories of Travis. You can click on the sidebar "Ratcliff" and "Murdock" to read more.